Cracking the Negotiation Code: Insights from a World Leading Expert for Women about to negotiate their salaries
Many women today face challenges when it comes to advancing in their careers, such as navigating workplace biases and breaking through the ‘broken rung’ or the ‘glass ceiling’. Negotiation expert Wies Bratby believes that mastering negotiation skills is a key factor in overcoming these obstacles and achieving your career goals.
In this exclusive interview, Wies shares valuable insights on why women need to negotiate more, how negotiation is a skill that can be learned, and what mistakes to avoid in the process. As a seasoned negotiator and consultant, Wies has helped countless women successfully negotiate their way to higher salaries, better job titles, and more fulfilling careers.
One of the main points she emphasizes in the interview is the importance of gaining clarity for what you want your career and life to look like. And then taking the steps to make it a reality – by learning to negotiate effectively, you can gain the confidence and skills needed to overcome challenges and reach your full potential.
She also shares with you practical tips on how to prepare for a negotiation, what to say (and what not to say) during the process, and how to deal with a ‘no’.
Whether you're negotiating a raise, a promotion, or a new job offer, Wies' insights are sure to be valuable for any career woman looking to take her career to the next level. So, grab a cup of coffee and get ready to learn from a true negotiation pro who's dedicated her career to helping women succeed in the workforce.
On your website, the first thing one can read is: 'Confidently Navigate Your Career And Negotiate Your Salary'. How did you become interested in negotiation and what led you to specialize in this field?
It always was my obsession! When I was 18 years old I read the book ‘Getting to yes’ from Roger Fisher and William L. Ury – two of my heroes. The book is related to the ‘Harvard Negotiation Project’, which deals with issues of negotiations and conflict resolution. The project identified four crucial factors for negotiation: people, interests, options and objective criteria (otherwise known as boundary conditions).
I was really interested in resolving conflicts – and at that time my sweet, somewhat naive dream was world peace through people talking to each other rather than fighting. So I joined law school and later started working on negotiation in business and legal. I stupidly thought when working at a law firm I would negotiate all the time but it turned out to be more writing memos than anything else. However, my wish to stay in the negotiation sphere grew, I became even more obsessed with the topic through my time at the firm.
What I really love about negotiation is that it is art and science at the same time. You need soft and hard skills to be a good negotiator – flexibility and communication skills as well as data-driven aspects will lead you to success. And you can solve problems – that’s the beauty of it.
Why did you found 'Women in Negotiation' and what can women expect from the program?
I realized that women across the world don't negotiate for themselves – neither their salaries nor their careers. So I started researching since I am a geek as well as a feminist and I found that my assumptions were true. That’s why I created ‘Women in Negotiation’, a very intensive 10-weeks-group-course.
It is based on a communication framework that I developed based on my experience as a negotiator and my time spent as a HR director for a global company, hiring and developing its senior staff. The first step of the program covers what you want to achieve in life and your career. Then, in a second step, you make that dream career a reality. And lastly, you negotiate the heck out of the salary and set-up!
Especially in Switzerland, people want to put you in a box and tell you that this is what you get. I turn that around and prepare women to think of what they want and then I teach them how to negotiate to get exactly that. Of course, confidence and your mindset are a crucial part of it – it will dictate what you think you are capable of achieving.
On average, last year women that took part in my programme increased their salaries by 93% and got fantastic new jobs. This is only possible when you work really hard on yourself. So I expect a lot from the women joining my program. It is hard, but once you commit it is absolutely fabulous and you’ll achieve great results.
Can you describe a particularly challenging negotiation that you have been a part of and how you overcame any obstacles or setbacks that arose during the negotiation?
A rather tricky one was my own employment negotiation when I joined a company in Hong Kong. I came from a European contract and working as a lawyer and had zero experience in the new location and industry, nor in the role itself (HR). And of course they tried to get me into a role with a lower salary, and tried to use my lack of experience in the field in the sense of ‘you should be grateful to get the chance’.
In summary, I was not happy with the proposed scope of the role nor with the salary and managed to overcome this by mainly doing or having two things:
I had an alternative – so for every negotiation you have in life always try to have at least one other option because you need to be able to walk away if the deal on the table isn’t good enough. Sometimes, you can use the alternative within the negotiation and use it to your advantage, but sometimes it’s already enough to know that you have another option, without even sharing it with the other side. It helps you to appear, talk and act in a different way – you are more confident, which has a huge influence on your negotiation partner!
I took control of the process – I did not sign up for what they were offering me. So I wrote my new, own job description and a salary next to it. This was what I was up for, nothing else. I wrote that job description together with my best friend and a good glass of wine – a powerful process that has allowed me to come up with a job that matched my competencies, talents and expectations. Eventually, that then led to a lot of happiness because my work really fit me. I was able to truly say ‘this is my dream job’.
How did you become so confident?
I have always been a confident person. A very important factor in that confidence is that I am really aware of what I suck at. I actually don't mind not being good at many things; I don’t feel I need to know everything because there are great experts everywhere let them do their magic! But then I am also very aware of what I AM really good at. I really own those parts of me, too. This definitely helps to be confident.
What are some of the most important factors that determine whether a negotiation is successful or not?
Most people would say you are successful when you achieve fast or immediately what you set out to get. But in my opinion, being successful is more about getting clarity on what is possible for you and what is needed by the other side. Reframing success to ‘getting clarity’ takes so much pressure off of you, and allows for a greater chance of finding a win – win outcome for both sides.
In a negotiation, no matter what you are negotiating about – be it your salary or flexible work arrangements if we are talking work context – it is important to get a yes or a no, to get clarity on what is possible. With you have a decision, you have two options. If you like what you get: WOOOP, success! And if you don't like what you get, you can walk away. This means that you are in control of the process the entire time! Realising that will give you a sense of power.
To be successful, you should also learn to embrace a ‘no’! In fact, you should expect it. If you don’t hear a no, but instead get everything you asked for, you haven’t aimed high enough!
What are some common mistakes that women make when negotiating their salaries, and how can they overcome these mistakes?
There are many mistakes. Why? Because as we grow up as girls we never actually get to train our negotiation skills – we are not expected to negotiate, as girls we should colour inside the lines instead, behave, not draw attention to ourselves. And it doesn’t get much better when we grow up – as women it is usually easier to stand up for others but not for ourselves.
Common mistakes therefore include:
A lack of preparation – not doing your research is one of the biggest mistake you can make. It is time consuming but if you want a great job and a great salary then it should be worth your time, right? Especially when you compare it to all the time investments you have made in your education and doing great work so far.
Taking it personal – you need to understand that it is a game, it has nothing to do with you and you should learn to have fun playing it.
Not knowing your value and aiming too low – you need to know what you are good at and what value you can bring into the company.
Sharing your current salary – please never do that because you lose all leverage! If you are asked this question, say it’s confidential and competitive company information and you are not allowed to tell. Focus instead on the fact that your current salary does not matter at all, because it is a different job that you are applying for now.
Sharing your salary expectations – especially too early in the negotiation. You can let them know your expectations, but only once the job description is very clear.
Believe the budget – remember that there is always room for more and you should always continue to negotiate. If they keep saying that there is a limit to the budget, make the job itself bigger and amend the job description and with that the budget / range.
How can we prepare for a salary negotiations? And what resources or tools do we have available?
Do research: There are very good websites with aggregate data on salaries. Look them up before your negotiation. Then, also check in with headhunters that are working in your space.They also tend to have good insights as to current salary ranges. You will probably need to invest a lot of time in your preparation – more than what you may think. But again: compared to what you actually invested in getting your degrees and education at university, it is really just a small amount of time. And it would be such a pity if you were negligent just shorty before you actually reached your goals.
Practice: Learn how to negotiate. Do role plays with your partner or friends. And do them so often until you get comfortable with it and feel that you are ready for the negotiation. Most employers expect that you are not prepared and used to negotiating. And the great thing is that you can use these negotiation skills in all aspects of your life – it is like an upward spiral, your life gets better through negotiating.
